Not Long Left Now

I’ve resisted calculating exactly how many days I have left at Ichiko but I know it’s not many. Why not prepare a countdown like most of my other colleagues? To me that feels like an admission of defeat. One of the things I really wanted to ensure was that Ichiko didn’t break my spirit. While I don’t have the same wide-eyed optimism I had when I started I have tried to make sure I don’t give up on the students and believe they have the potential to learn to speak English.

The last few weeks have seen that resolve almost crumble, though. I had a really bad week about three weeks ago and although things have been better since then my classes have been dotted with students who couldn’t seem to care less about English and my lessons in particular. I had some more students fail to even attempt to remember the oral dialogue. One group I went off at, although it didn’t have the same effect on me that it did the first time around. Still, it’s hardly heartening.

Although I haven’t resorted to tabling how many working days are left I have worked out when the last lessons for each class are. Two of them were the Friday just past and the reaction from both classes wasn’t encouraging. If I was expecting some Goodbye, Mr Chips-esque final moment I was sorely disappointed. News of this being the last lesson elicited some surprise from students but it was the sort of surprise one feels if it starts raining unexpectedly.

I realise some of my expectations are unrealistic. When I think back to when I was at school it was hardly the case that students wept when teachers left. Most of the time students were too focused on their own lives to really notice. Occasionally you’d have students who were happy. Rare would be the occasion that they’d be sad. That I hoped I’d fall into that latter category probably say more about me than anything else.